I’ve been going back and forth with this post for a long time. I never really get personal on my blog but when life’s obstacles get in the way then I feel it’s time to address them. Before I get into things I don’t want people to think that this is another blogger and her sob story. I don’t feel that I’m sobbing, doing this for attention or following in the footsteps of others. I put myself online regarding fashion, beauty and lifestyle but today’s post is a little different. For me to be a serious blogger I feel that it’s OK for me to let you know a few things that have impacted on me. If I want to achieve the best in life and also for the Niamh Kelly brand, then from time to time I will share what’s going on in my life.
A while ago I was diagnosed with Chronic Anxiety (GAD) and it has been something that I’ve been working hard to manage. I have my good and bad days but thankfully with some help and an amazing support network I’m enjoying more good days than bad. I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of it as I’m not a medical professional, I’m simply sharing my experience. It has impacted on my ability to blog as my confidence took a knock and I wasn’t comfortable getting in front of a camera. Hopefully I can help any of you who go through the same emotions or just need to know that they’re not alone.
“Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is a common, chronic disorder characterised by long-lasting anxiety that is not focused on any one object or situation. Those suffering from generalized anxiety disorder experience non-specific persistent fear and worry, and become overly concerned with everyday matters.”
For those of you who are not familiar with GAD, it is a feeling of long lasting anxiety and fear of everyday situations. When I was feeling at my lowest, an insignificant situation such as a person’s comment or the unknown in life could have caused me to have a panic attack. I was going to hell and back and it was taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I couldn’t sleep or eat, I lost a lot of weight in a short period of time and I was struggling to keep my head above water. It came to a head when I had hit an almighty brick wall, I knew something wasn’t right. That was when I sought help and found out I had Chronic Anxiety. Believe it or not but when I was told I had it, I immediately felt a weight lift off my shoulders. For a long time I thought I was going crazy but I was relieved to know that it wasn’t the case and I could manage it.
It has been a roller coaster of emotions but slowly and surely I am feeling stronger and more postive. I have my own ways of managing it and everyone is different as to what direction they will go with it. The stigma of GAD annoys me greatly as we’re all told to keep quiet for fear of being branded. I’m still me, it has never permanently changed me for the worst (I was obviously not myself before I was diagnosed), I’ve became a much stronger and driven person. I am incredibly lucky to have an army of family and friends around me who are there for me 24/7. I also have my own ways for keeping my anxiety at bay such as yoga and of course, blogging. I spend a lot of my time down in County Kerry as it is without a doubt my happy place. As soon as I step foot in the Kingdom I immediately feel at ease and I switch off from the world. I’m starting to incorporate that feeling into my everyday life as no matter where I am in the world and life, all I want is to be happy and confident in my own skin. You only have one trip around this planet and I intend on making the most of mine. Life is never going to be simple, unfortunately we will all experience sad times but we need to be able to pick ourselves back up and not let it get on top of us.
I hope some of you can feel a little more at ease knowing that you’re not alone. I know when I’ve heard that people were going through the same as me, they could relate. I felt a great amount of support knowing I was not alone and I only hope this post can do the same for you.