You may remember that at the start of last summer I shared my experience of living with Chronic Anxiety (you can read it here). It took me quite some time to open up about it as I was feeling embarrassed. Eventually I built up the courage to talk about things and I sought help. Once I received my diagnosis I spent further time building myself back up and moving into a more positive place. After sharing everything with all of you I felt a huge sense of relief and gratitude as you were all so kind.
With this being said, I still have my bad days and they’re something I have learnt to deal with. I could wake up and feel horrible, the thought of getting out of bed kills me at times. I’m my own worse enemy at this stage and all I can do is ride the wave until that feeling passes. It can take a few hours, days or sometimes week’s (thankfully they’re not as regular) to settle. That sickening feeling in my stomach, the dizziness, panic attacks and constantly losing my train of thoughts can take a toll on me. I could have a conversation with someone and ten minutes later I’ll not remember any of it – that’s quite a frightening feeling. One of my main fears use to be change of any sort, however life does not sit still and I’ve gone through a lot of change. It has all worked out for the best and I’m in a much happier place. It’s amazing how horrible times can change you for the worse but that’s just part of life and eventually it makes you stronger.
“Times change, people change, situations change, relationships change… the only thing constant is change”.
With this all being said it has obviously impacted on my blog massively. It has been four months, one week and one day (to be exact) since I last featured a post and I feel like I’m in limbo. I haven’t been feeling as inspired or creative as I use to. I thought the best thing to do was take some space and get my thoughts together . I’m still not 100% sure if I want to continue blogging but I’m not giving up cold turkey. I have decided to take it back to basics and take baby steps for a while. I’ve been wanting to move into the YouTube world for a long time now but it’s something that needs detailed planning and prepping. I love the idea of talking to subscribers on a more personal level. Writing out reviews can be a little dry as readers can’t see and really interact with your thoughts on things. The idea of vlogging is so appealing especially when I hopefully jet off on some travelling adventures. I find the video platform a lot more creative and inspirational!
Anywho, I just wanted to keep all of you updated on where I am, where I’ve been and my honest thoughts on blogging/life. Thank you so much for being patient and to those of you who continue to subscribe to niamhkelly.co! I’m hopeful that I’ll continue in the right direction whether that’s here or on YouTube. If any of you have any advice or if you have been feeling the same – please feel free to contact me.
Happy New Year! Chat soon..